When you have questions you don’t know how to answer

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I have lots of questions about my life and life in general. I call it ‘my list’. I have lived the past few years with these questions playing in my mind – and wanting sometimes maybe an SMS from Jesus or something with a clear answer, complete with an emoji. Do you ever feel this way too?
Like, Jesus could I just WhatsApp you and have you send me a clear, definitive explanation of this thing because I don’t get it. Could you please include a high res jpg image with that explanation?
Sometimes things happen and we didn’t plan for them to happen that way. Then we sit with our list.

In the book of Job, Job felt this way too. So many hectic things happened and he was a righteous man. He wanted answers. What was going on?
His friends gave their theories and very eloquent answers, I might add. These friends of his were serious poets.
But then the Lord spoke.
The result: Job realised God was God. He was still in control. However things looked, God had never left His throne.

He declared:
“I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:1-6).

The book of Eccleciastes is a bit like this to. King Solomon wrestles with his views of life. He has had every blessing under the sun and come to realise, these things in themselves don’t contain meaning. Rather, after a lengthy expose of everything fleeting in life, he sets his eyes on the eternal, unchanging God and comes to this conclusion (bear in mind this is the conclusion of the alleged wisest man of the ancient world): Fear God, he says. This is the beginning and the end of all wisdom.

So together with a friend Debbie on Sunday, we tore up our lists, surrendering them to the Lord.
The answer is not in a WhatsApp. It is Him. He doesn’t need to crown it with an emoji. He’s God and that’s enough.

I will be honest. This year has been a little tougher so far than I had expected it to be. Hence the silence on the blogging platform. However… I have learned something about life. It’s not out there. You won’t find it getting more money or stuff or positions or accolades. Also, it’s not necessarily in you either. If you think finding yourself is going to help, have you tried looking under the bed?
Life is Him. “I am the resurrection and the life,” He said. We can get so caught up trying to find solutions we miss Him. I don’t want to miss Him anymore.

Children know some stuff about living out loud. They just live and trust it will be ok. I want that kind of faith again. The faith that just wants to be with Him and know Him. I want Him to come along on the journey and I need Him in those moments when the storms and waves come. I know that when He speaks, the dead come back to life and Lazarus leaves his cocoon, to emerge a new creation for his glory.

When a caterpillar enters a cocoon, a big process begins. I had a friend who had a word for this: ‘mengelmoes’. Mengelmoes is a fancy way of saying: “A big, beautiful mess”. It’s a mess inside that pupa – there’s all sticky and gooey stuff… even the caterpillar is a mess… and if the caterpillar were to think, which maybe he does (does he even have a brain?), he might be asking, ‘What’s going on?’.
But then something beautiful happens which is out of the caterpillar’s control. He starts to form wings and this is in a divine plan which he cant possibly understand. His mind is too little for this. The Author of Life brings him out as he yields to His hand and pushes his way through the walls of the cocoon – new wings opening and forever changed. Out comes a butterfly.
If he had to expect answers to his list from inside the cocoon, I’m not sure his little mind would be able to understand them.

Resolve today that this is all you need to know: Him. You think you need answers. You think you need opportunities. You think you need more of this or that. Actually, you need Him.

When you make Him your focus, you might find, the shoe really does fit.”Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3)

To read the story behind the Living out Loud blog, visit https://living-out-loud.blog/2017/12/30/the-birth-of-a-new-blog/

©Copyright Heather Djunga 2018.

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Author: Heather Djunga

You would die for Him but will you live for Him? What would happen if one person - you - committed to live out loud for Him? ©Copyright Heather Djunga 2018.The creative concepts, drawings and writing on this site cannot be reproduced without the expressed permission of the author and artist

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